Now I Have a Shopping Assistant

A while back, I was telling Mr. Curls about my friend's wedding in May. I happened to mention needing a dress.

"Oh yeah?" He said.

"Yup. I'm going to have to go shopping."

"Want company?"

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Curls volunteered to go dress shopping with me.

Yesterday, we hopped in my car and toured the shops. The last time I went shopping for a dress with someone was when I was a high school freshman. The friend I went with got bored and annoyed with me and it wasn't fun. Going into the shopping adventure with Mr. Curls, I was a bit nervous about how it'd go.

It took until the fourth shop before we found anything for me to even try on. I have to say, I was impressed. Mr. Curls was very patient about the whole process and there were a few times when he was the one who picked out a dress for me to try on. I must add, the comments of, "Ooh, I really like that one on you" and "You look really good in that one" made me smile. He was good moral support, and very helpful when it came to having someone around to hold dresses for me. Also, he wasn't just humoring me. He was actually interested in helping me find something I liked. It was an unusual experience for me. Fun, though, definitely fun.

The dress mission took about eight stores before I found a dress that would work. Now I've got a dress for the wedding and now I know who to take shopping with me.

The Highlights Dilema

The highlights I got in December have grown out enough that I need to do some maintenance. Except, now I'm trying to decide if I want to keep the highlights as-is, do them over in a different way, or just get them dyed back to my own hair color. Also, I have to decide if I'm brave/broke enough to try to do whatever I decide on at home.

Hrm... hard choices. Does anyone have suggestions?

Size 6

I had to buy some new jeans the other day because my size 8s are now too big. It's cool to have a tangible sign that all my work at the gym is paying off.

Fat Pants!

I got to spend some time with my brother on Sunday and catch up with how things have been going for him off in Florida land. During the conversation, he proudly announced the following:
Brother: I bought new pants today!
Me: Oh my, that's big news for you.
Brother: I had to. I've put on fifteen pounds since May.
(He had a big grin when he said it)
Me: I'm so... pleased for you?
Brother: It might have something to do with the fact that I have a whole mini-fridge devoted to beer.
Me: It just might.
Brother: Now I have fat pants!

I'm trying to think of any woman I've ever know who has been so entertained by weight gain. I'm drawing a blank. My brother, though, he thinks it's hilarious.

F*ing Middle Aged Men at the Laundromat

Today I went to the laundromat to wash my comforter. I really hate going to the laundromat, but it had to be done. Why do I hate going? Well, because of schmucks like the one I encountered today. I start my washing and walk over to the wall to find a place to sit and work on grading some papers.

Middle aged, overweight dude looks over at me. "Smile already, it gets better."

Goddamn it, why do middle aged men always feel the need to tell me to f*ing smile? Since when is my facial expression any of their business? "Not 'til next week," I said as I grabbed my things and headed for another place to sit.

Behind me, I heard him say, "Huh?"

Exactly dude. You know absolutely nothing about me. Shut the f* up.

What happens next week, you ask? Nothing special, it was just the first stupid thing that came into my mind. More than almost anything else in the world, I hate being ordered to smile by complete f*ing strangers. It's rude and implies that if I'm not completely ecstatic to be doing my laundry, there's something wrong with me. I mean, what the hell?

Of course, I have a friend whose mouth is naturally turned up a the corners, begging strangers to randomly ask her "What are you smiling about?" Can't win for losing.

Since when is somebody's facial expression the business of strangers? Leave it alone, man. And, if you really, really want somebody to smile, commanding them to do so is damn sure not the way to do it. There's a much easier way, in fact. You smile at them. The vast majority of people will smile back.

Thank Harold I get to do all the rest of my laundry at home.

Damn Shoes

Once upon a time, I owned approximately five pairs of shoes:
1. Sandals
2. Work shoes
3. Back-up work shoes
4. Tennis shoes
5. Boots

Then, during the course of this whole girly thing, my shoe collection kind of exploded. I got a new pair of sandals, and since they were a by-one-get-2nd-cheaper thing, I got a second pair at the same time. Then another, then some boots, then...

Current shoe tally:
7 pairs of sandals
2 pairs of business casual shoes
1 pair old work shoes
3 pairs of boots
2 pairs of tennis shoes
and, as of a couple of days ago - 1 pair of boots with a stiletto heel

It's insane. It's like I've become possessed or something. I need to stop with the shoes, I really do.

Wore the new boots today. They make me tall.

Doomed Eyebrow

Me: Hello?
Amanda: Hey.
Me: What's up?
Amanda: You can't laugh.
Me: Okay.
Amanda: I mean it. You have to promise not to laugh.
Me: All right, already. I promise.
Amanda: *Sigh* My left eyebrow is gone.
Me: How?
Amanda: I don't want to talk about it.
...
Me: Well, on the bright side, it's a good incentive to get bangs like you've been wanting.
Amanda: I hate you.

BB & A Skirt, Or, An Irritating Friday

When I got to my office this morning at about 7:40, I saw the message button blinking on my phone. It was a message from BB canceling our appointment for today because he's no longer working at the rec. center. I still have no idea what the circumstances are, but my first thought is that it's a personality clash, which makes me irritated with him 'cause now I have to get used to some new person. Ugh.

I've been e-mailing back and forth with BB's boss to arrange a time to meet with her so she can take over my training. From when I met her briefly back in May, I got a good first impression from her, but who knows how that's going to translate. I have a hunch that she and BB might have pretty different training styles, and it makes me a little nervous about whether or not I'm going to like her approach.

In other news, I wore a pencil skirt to campus today. I got lots of comments and compliments from colleagues. On one hand, it was nice. On the other, it really made me feel self conscious. I'm also not a fan of how it restricts movement. I spent the whole time I was on campus being painfully aware of part of my legs being bare and being unable to pick something up from the floor without planning my movement. Once I got home, it took all of about two seconds for me to take it off.

Physical

I had my annual doctor's appointment today. I've had this doctor for about three years and I quite like her. I'm not so big a fan, however, of the exam part where I'm all naked and getting poked and prodded and... penetrated.

In other news, there goes one more year where my doctor is the only person other than myself to see me naked.

Some Have It. Some Don't.

You know how some guys grow facial hair like gorillas? And how, for some, it takes a week to get a decent 5 o'clock shadow? My brother falls in that second category. During his European tour, he's trying to grow facial hair. I've seen the pictures on Facebook. It's hilarious.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

After two months of going to the gym, it's having a noticeable effect on my body. My bathroom scale still hasn't really moved, but I'm getting toned. It's cool.

The other day I noticed that my biceps bulge a bit. My thighs are shaped a little different than they used to be. My calves are more defined. Parts of me have become tighter, firmer. The lines of me aren't what they were two months ago. I like the new lines better, but it's strange to think that the very shape of me is changing. The last time that happened was puberty.

Opening Night

I went to the opening of the little photo show tonight, and I wore a dress to it. It's a historic event, lemme tell ya, as the last time I wore a dress was about three years ago when I was a bridesmaid in a wedding and I wore the dress only as long as the ceremony lasted - by the time I was at the reception, I was back in pants.

Pre-show, I met up with my friend Deb to take photos for the website for a group we belong to. We hit the riverwalk and I have proof of my dress-wearing. Here's the "oil painting" version, which makes my eyes look like I'm possessed by a demon, a la Supernatural. But there you have it people, me in a dress.


The show reception was about what I expected, not a huge crowd and most of the people attending were members of the photo club. I liked being able to look at all the photos and say, "Oh, that's Don's photo. I know Don." That bit was cool.

Gym Goals

After something like two months of meeting with BB, I think we've finally gotten to the point where he's starting to get comfortable with me. It helps that I've started talking more. Today he watched me do my core workout. I wasn't looking forward to the idea of getting stared at while I did my workout, but I went to the gym a little early so I could do my upper & lower body workouts before meeting with him. He was working with another client at the same time, going through that guy's entire workout together. So, I ignored them and did my thing and figured BB was probably going to be glancing over from time to time to check up on me ('cause, as a teacher, that's exactly what I'd be doing in that kind of situation). As I was doing my rope pull-downs, BB walked over and said, "Not like that, like this..." proving that he was keeping an eye on me. The rest of it looked good though, he said.

Once he finished up with the other guy, we went through my core workout, which went fine. Back in his office, he brought up goals again. Ever since I started this personal training experience, he's been bringing up goals. During that first meeting, the other gal told me how goals are important, and how to set up SMART goals, yadda, yadda, yadda. I totally understand the importance of goals. I'm not knocking them, but I've been avoiding goals for the gym.

For BB and the other gal, it's all about deciding on a desirable end goal (lose X lbs) and they'll help you figure out the means (do X amount of working out). For me, the means is the end. My goal was all about starting, and maintaining, a workout regimen. Thus goal = achieved. Yeah, I'd also like to go down a pants size, but I see it as a side effect of me being healthier less than the goal itself.

BB: Next time we meet, I want you to tell me a specific goal you have.
Me: *noncomittal sound*
BB: Think about it. Think about what you want to achieve. I don't think you need to lose any weight, so maybe it's something like you want to run a mile in a certain amount of time.
Me: Okay, I'll think about it.

Wait. Was that a compliment? Cool.

So, I'm going to come up with a specific goal I can tell BB about next week and that'll make him happy. In the meantime, I'll work on my other goal of building rapport with BB. I can be friendly with most people, but he's been tough - has a lot to do with my self-consciousness about the gym at the beginning, but now I'm more comfortable.

F*ing Scale

I'm getting frustrated with the gym. Well, sort of. I've been good about going three days a week. I've been good, mostly, about doing everything BB tells me to. I've even been eating especially healthy these days, as to maximize the results of my hard work at the gym. It's been over a month and while I can tell a difference in some muscle tone, which is nice, my net weight loss = nada.

Now, I'm not saying I want to be super skinny because I don't. I know my genetics and body type and I'm not cut out to be a size 4. Which is perfectly okay with me, because I'm not a big fan of the twiggy look. I'll pass on Paris Hilton's physique in favor of Kate Winslet a la Titanic any day.

But, at 5'2" and 145 lbs, there's more of me than there ought to be. *sigh* I'm not asking to suddenly lose twenty pounds overnight, but after a month of working out, is a few pounds too much to ask for?

Girly Win

Went to lunch with Amanda. I picked her up on campus after her class (she's psyched to be only a student this summer) and she was wearing a simple T-shirt and jeans. I had on a nice top, dark jeans, and wedge-heel sandals.

"Good God," she said, "you look nicer than me today."

Bikini Friday

Today, for a few hours, I am wearing a bikini. It is, in part, to work on my tan. Being tan is not something I've really thought about in my pasty-white past, but all this dog walking has got my arms all golden and I want at least get my legs to sort of match.

It is also, in part, an exercise in self confidence. I was thinking of the show How to Look Good Naked and decided today would be a good time to practice "flaunting it," even if I'm only flaunting it in my back yard :)

The Gym

At the university where I work, they're offering a free personal training program for rec. center members. I'd never belonged to a gym before in my life, but I figured I'd take it as a sign from the powers that be to join. So, I arranged a meeting with the gal running the program.

When I showed up, she introduced me to the guy who'll be working with me. He's about my age and a body builder, which I wasn't expecting - I thought I'd be working with this gal specifically, which was an idea I liked because I wanted a woman. But, in for a penny, in for a pound, right? So, the three of us do a run down of why I'm there and how the whole thing works, then Body Builder took me on a tour of the gym.

The tour was interesting in a way that had nothing at all to do with the gym itself and everything to do with my guide. One aspect of my personality is silence. These days it's not really something that has to do with shyness (though it used to). More, it's about either concentration or waiting to see what someone's going to say. Sometimes I do it on purpose, sometimes I don't, but either way, it has a tendency to unnerve people.

During the tour, I was focused on BB's explanations of what the different equipment does and I really didn't have many questions. I was business-like instead of chatty, and it had its usual effect. BB started strutting just a bit. He went through a lot of machines and used them to show me how they worked, instead of having me try them. Then, he would make these off-hand comments to impress me, along the lines of "This is how you do it the easy way, and this is how you do it the hard way, which is the way I do it." It was funny. That, and the unsubtle boob glances. I'm well-endowed in the chest area, and am practiced in spotting the boob glance.

I can imagine the internal monologue: This girl isn't really paying me attention like other girls do. *check boobs* But, she's a girl, and I'm so macho. Maybe if I do something else that's tough she'll be impressed.

It was funny. Aside from that, though, I think he's plenty personable and he knows what he's doing, so I expect we'll get along just fine. In the mean time, I've done my first week of my training plan, and have had the fun experience of my muscles being sore from unaccustomed training. Today my abs are mad at me. Very mad. I've got to admit, though, that it feels good to be working out. Right now I'm a wuss and my work out plan reflects that, but you've got to start somewhere.

Girly Field Test

Tonight's the night of the date. Yesterday I was incredibly anxious about it. The last date I went on was in July of last year and I already knew the guy. I'm out of practice and seeing Army Guy in person for the first time. So, yesterday, I was actually dreading the date. I kept thinking about how I'll go and he won't like me and it'll all be a waste, etc. etc.

I called Amanda, because if anything is a distraction from my own woes, Amanda is. We talked for just over an hour and, among other things, she reassured me. It is one of the most wonderful things in the world to have a cheerleader who'll tell you how incredible you are and how you're a great catch and all that jazz. The pep talk did me wonders. The pacing probably helped, too. Gotta get out that nervous energy, right?

Riding on the pep talk, I've been pretty calm all day. Until my last phone conversation with Amanda.

Amanda: Are you excited about tonight? Nervous?
Me: Definitely nervous, especially now that you're reminding me about it.

That was at about 4:30. 5:00 was time to hop in the shower and begin the getting ready process. I'm taking a break now while my curlers are in to update the blog and try and distract myself from watching the clock. The nervousness is back in full force and my stomach's doing the mambo. It's much too early for that nonsense, but it refuses to settle down.

I keep trying to remind myself that this whole scary business is necessary and that going outside of your comfort zone is a good thing. I've hit a groove in my life and it's been a while since I've been so nervous about something. It's a good thing, I keep telling myself. There's no way of knowing if Army Guy and I will hit it off unless I go on the date, right? No way of knowing if he's the future Mr. Girl unless I actually meet him.

Blah, blah, blah. How can it only be 5:45? Ugh.

First Date

Army Guy is going to take me to a fancy steak house on Friday night. When I told Amanda the name of the place (which is in the nearby city where AG lives) she made high pitched sounds.

Amanda: Oh, he really likes you. That's the place my husband takes me for our anniversary and there's no way two people can have dinner there for less than a hundred bucks.

Talk about intimidating. When AG brought up the first date scenario, I was imagining something taking place in a coffee shop. But this? I certainly wasn't thinking this. My ex didn't ever shell out $100 for a dinner, much less our first. I'm a low maintenance girl. AG really wants to impress me. If only he knew how cheap a date I really can be. But, it'll be a good experience for me. Intimidating, but good.

Of course, it also means this date is going to require much more planning than I had planned. Amanda and I are going to be having a summit regarding what I'll be wearing. I have strict instructions to pick out three possible outfits to decide between. This is going to be a big production, it seems. There may even be shopping involved.

"Healthy" Womanhood

I was all geared up to write a post about how I wore eyeshadow and liner out in public on Saturday. I was proud of myself. I even got a compliment from a friend of mine about how it looked nice.

Then, I read Penny Red's latest post. Boy did I feel shallow.

Except...

Who's braver: the girl who's afraid of not wearing makeup or the one who's afraid of wearing it?