Maybe you've noticed, but the current job market SUCKS. I've been trying to find a job for months, and my resumes and cover letters keep getting answered with... silence. You'd think I was a leper or something. Not a recent MA graduate with a 3.75 GPA and an assortment of good work experiences. I have a good resume and I've written some rockin' cover letters. *Sigh*
But, I've been staying focused on the idea that if I apply for enough jobs that I'm qualified for, eventually, by virtue of the numbers game, one of those companies will want me.
Last week, Mr. Curls was looking through the newspaper classifieds and pointed out an ad for a training coordinator in a town that's 60 miles away. I wasn't sure if I was really feeling it, but I can't get a job if I don't apply for jobs, so I filled out the application and sent it off via snail mail on Monday afternoon. On Wednesday morning, I got a call from the HR person asking if I could come in for a first interview on the 11th.
Life's funny. The first interview I get and it's for a job I applied for halfheartedly. But, the more I research the organization, the more I like the organization. The more I think about what my job would entail, the more I think it could be a really good fit for me. Right now, my main concern is about moving to a town with only 8,000 people in it. I'm not a big city girl, but that's awful little. Also, the town, as a whole, isn't doing so well economically. Is that really the place I want to uproot to?
On one hand, maybe this is the job I've been waiting for since April. On the other, maybe it'd be a bad move. At this point, the positives and negatives are pretty evenly balanced for me. If they offer me the job, I think, crude as it may be to say it, that the major deciding factor for me will be the pay. I've got some numbers in my head. There's the "nope" salary range, the "maybe" range, and the "oh yes," range. On the job posting, the pay is listed only as "Dependent on Experience," so I have no idea now the numbers they're thinking of will compare to the numbers I'm thinking of.
What I do know is that, all else aside, going through the interview will be good practice. Being called for the interview has been encouraging. Since I got the call for the interview, I've applied for seven other jobs. Sooner or later, something's bound to stick.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Bullet Points
Lots of things have been happening lately.
1. Mr. Curls' trucking job fell through. He had his license suspended briefly a while back when he was unemployed because he was unable to stay current with child support payments. Thus, no trucking job because of the suspension. Yet another aspect of his past that looks bad.
2. Because he ended his lease and put his truck in storage with an auto pawn company in preparation for the trucking job, losing it means Mr. Curls is currently homeless and without transportation (except for my bike that I'm letting him borrow).
3. After months of sending out resumes and applying for any and all jobs I'm qualified for, I finally got a call for an interview. It's a job I think I could enjoy, but it's about sixty miles away and in a town that's quite small - population 8,000. I'm not sure whether or not that's too small for me.
4. In light of everything that's been going on with Mr. Curls, and the general lack of having his life in order that all those things indicate, I made a decision. The decision is that, unless Mr. Curls does something to make a serious change in his life, the end of August is the end of the relationship.
5. Mr. Curls decided that after 15 years of choosing work over education, and with that working out so wonderfully for him, he's decided to go back to school and get his B.A. Today, he submitted his FAFSA and he's qualified for a Pell Grant.
6. On Tuesday, Mr. Curls traveled 160 miles to interview for a job. Today, he got the job offer. We've already talked about him taking the job. He's looking at schools in the area and planning how to do both work and school.
All things together, I think that between the job and the decision to go back to school, Mr. Curls' life is undergoing a pretty serious change. Most important to me is the choice to go to college. I put a premium on education and his decision to get his degree after so many years of being away from school is a great thing. It's also probably the single most important, life-changing decision he's made in the past two years that he's made for reasons other than doing what other people think he should do.
I like it. But, it's only the first step. Now he's got to sort out the move, get enrolled & registered for classes, and actually pass them. There's still a lot of action that needs to follow the decisions, but it's given me faith that this relationship will survive until September and that's a much better prognosis than I would have given last week.
1. Mr. Curls' trucking job fell through. He had his license suspended briefly a while back when he was unemployed because he was unable to stay current with child support payments. Thus, no trucking job because of the suspension. Yet another aspect of his past that looks bad.
2. Because he ended his lease and put his truck in storage with an auto pawn company in preparation for the trucking job, losing it means Mr. Curls is currently homeless and without transportation (except for my bike that I'm letting him borrow).
3. After months of sending out resumes and applying for any and all jobs I'm qualified for, I finally got a call for an interview. It's a job I think I could enjoy, but it's about sixty miles away and in a town that's quite small - population 8,000. I'm not sure whether or not that's too small for me.
4. In light of everything that's been going on with Mr. Curls, and the general lack of having his life in order that all those things indicate, I made a decision. The decision is that, unless Mr. Curls does something to make a serious change in his life, the end of August is the end of the relationship.
5. Mr. Curls decided that after 15 years of choosing work over education, and with that working out so wonderfully for him, he's decided to go back to school and get his B.A. Today, he submitted his FAFSA and he's qualified for a Pell Grant.
6. On Tuesday, Mr. Curls traveled 160 miles to interview for a job. Today, he got the job offer. We've already talked about him taking the job. He's looking at schools in the area and planning how to do both work and school.
All things together, I think that between the job and the decision to go back to school, Mr. Curls' life is undergoing a pretty serious change. Most important to me is the choice to go to college. I put a premium on education and his decision to get his degree after so many years of being away from school is a great thing. It's also probably the single most important, life-changing decision he's made in the past two years that he's made for reasons other than doing what other people think he should do.
I like it. But, it's only the first step. Now he's got to sort out the move, get enrolled & registered for classes, and actually pass them. There's still a lot of action that needs to follow the decisions, but it's given me faith that this relationship will survive until September and that's a much better prognosis than I would have given last week.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Keep on Trucking
I've not posted in a long time because I've been trying to figure some things out all my own and not much in the mood for making those thoughts public. Now, things have somewhat worked around to an equilibrium again.
Quick sum-uption: Mr. Curls lost his job in May and has been working hard to find another one since. Thanks to the tough economy, he's mostly had no luck. The situation has made me question our relationship - not because I'm enamored with money for its own sake, but because having some financial stability is way important to me and this is yet another hiccup in his employment history. Now, the last-ditch job option is taking a job with a trucking company. Yep, that's right, Mr. Curls is about to become a trucker. It's oh-so-glamorous, but the $ is serious enough that it'd be a big step for him to get some stability and save up enough within a year to do things like hire a lawyer to deal with his ex(es) situation and get that sorted out. Also, it would give him enough capital that he could quit the trucking job and use his savings to begin what he truly wants to do by going into business for himself.
We've talked about it a lot and talked about what it would/could mean for him and for us and while I can't predict exactly how it'll go, especially since the work schedule would limit his days off to about 3-4 a month, we're going to do our best to keep our relationship strong.
In the past couple of weeks, with everything else that's been going on, some of the tension in each of us has eased and my re-thinking of the relationship has come down on the side of understanding and wanting to do my best to make this work. Amanda, not surprisingly, expresses her doubts. My pen-pal expresses hope. They're both right.
I don't know how it's all going to work out. I have to make a decision based on what I do know. When I'm with him, I feel happy and loved and like I don't want to be with anyone else. In light of everything he's going through right now, I know that he's got few choices and that if I were in his same position, I would probably make the same choices he has. I know that our relationship may not last through him being so far away so much. I know that I want to try.
One way or another, things are going to work out. I don't know how, exactly, and that may very well mean that things work out by me and him going our separate ways. But, we'll take it one little bit at a time and see where we end up.
Quick sum-uption: Mr. Curls lost his job in May and has been working hard to find another one since. Thanks to the tough economy, he's mostly had no luck. The situation has made me question our relationship - not because I'm enamored with money for its own sake, but because having some financial stability is way important to me and this is yet another hiccup in his employment history. Now, the last-ditch job option is taking a job with a trucking company. Yep, that's right, Mr. Curls is about to become a trucker. It's oh-so-glamorous, but the $ is serious enough that it'd be a big step for him to get some stability and save up enough within a year to do things like hire a lawyer to deal with his ex(es) situation and get that sorted out. Also, it would give him enough capital that he could quit the trucking job and use his savings to begin what he truly wants to do by going into business for himself.
We've talked about it a lot and talked about what it would/could mean for him and for us and while I can't predict exactly how it'll go, especially since the work schedule would limit his days off to about 3-4 a month, we're going to do our best to keep our relationship strong.
In the past couple of weeks, with everything else that's been going on, some of the tension in each of us has eased and my re-thinking of the relationship has come down on the side of understanding and wanting to do my best to make this work. Amanda, not surprisingly, expresses her doubts. My pen-pal expresses hope. They're both right.
I don't know how it's all going to work out. I have to make a decision based on what I do know. When I'm with him, I feel happy and loved and like I don't want to be with anyone else. In light of everything he's going through right now, I know that he's got few choices and that if I were in his same position, I would probably make the same choices he has. I know that our relationship may not last through him being so far away so much. I know that I want to try.
One way or another, things are going to work out. I don't know how, exactly, and that may very well mean that things work out by me and him going our separate ways. But, we'll take it one little bit at a time and see where we end up.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Losing My Phone Sex Virginity
Last night, Mr. Curls called me after the boys were asleep.
"Hey sweetie," he said. "What have you been up to?"
I paused for a minute before I answered, because there was one thing in particular that I'd been up to not long before he called. "Oh a little of this, a little of that," I said. "Um, you know how you told me earlier that you wished I was there this morning?"
(During an earlier phone call, Mr. Curls had left the apartment for a couple of minutes to tell me he'd woken up with a bit of morning wood which had made him think about me, which hadn't helped the situation. Since the boys were already up and about, he hadn't felt right about taking matters into his own hands, even behind his locked bedroom door.)
"Uh huh," he said.
"Well, a little while ago, I was thinking about that, and I was in the kind of mood where it would have been really nice if you'd been here and naked. But, as it was, I had to take matters into my own hands."
"Oh really?" From the sound of his voice, I could tell he was smiling. "Why don't you tell me about that?"
From there, the conversation led to an interest I'd expressed in watching Mr. Curls jerk himself off. It's something I'd like to see, but something he's been too bashful so far to try. I decided he might feel less weird about it if he knew why I wanted to see it, and I told him there were a couple of parts to it. One: seeing him pleasure himself might show me a new thing to try the next time I was the one touching him. Two: there's a bit of a voyeuristic appeal there and since I don't have a penis, most of the ejaculations I've been around tend to happen inside me, so I can't really see what's going on. So, there's a definite curiosity motivation there.
After a while, as we continued to talk about sex, he said, "I really wish you were here right now. This conversation has gotten me in a certain frame of mind..."
"Are you in your room?" I asked.
"Yeah."
"Are you on your bed?"
"Yeah."
"Are you hard?"
"Yeah."
"Mmm..." Since we had recently been talking about my interest in him masturbating, I mentioned there was a way to try it out a bit, maybe get him comfortable with the idea.
"Hmm..." he said. "I've never done that before."
"Neither have I." I was nervous about it. I wasn't sure what to say, or what to do. All I knew is that it seemed like the phone call was headed in that direction, and who am I to say "no" to a little experimentation?
"Am I going to be on my own here?" Mr. Curls asked. "Because, I think it'd be more fun if you were touching yourself too."
"I already am."
"Good."
It was an interesting experience to fly solo without exactly being solo. I got to practice being descriptive and using my imagination. Having his voice in my ear while I masturbated was pretty hot. I remained just a bit self conscious throughout, but in the good way that added a little bit of a thrill to it. There's something about phone sex that's just a little taboo to me, I'm not sure why, so it made me feel a little naughty.
This morning, I can't hardly even look at my phone without blushing.
"Hey sweetie," he said. "What have you been up to?"
I paused for a minute before I answered, because there was one thing in particular that I'd been up to not long before he called. "Oh a little of this, a little of that," I said. "Um, you know how you told me earlier that you wished I was there this morning?"
(During an earlier phone call, Mr. Curls had left the apartment for a couple of minutes to tell me he'd woken up with a bit of morning wood which had made him think about me, which hadn't helped the situation. Since the boys were already up and about, he hadn't felt right about taking matters into his own hands, even behind his locked bedroom door.)
"Uh huh," he said.
"Well, a little while ago, I was thinking about that, and I was in the kind of mood where it would have been really nice if you'd been here and naked. But, as it was, I had to take matters into my own hands."
"Oh really?" From the sound of his voice, I could tell he was smiling. "Why don't you tell me about that?"
From there, the conversation led to an interest I'd expressed in watching Mr. Curls jerk himself off. It's something I'd like to see, but something he's been too bashful so far to try. I decided he might feel less weird about it if he knew why I wanted to see it, and I told him there were a couple of parts to it. One: seeing him pleasure himself might show me a new thing to try the next time I was the one touching him. Two: there's a bit of a voyeuristic appeal there and since I don't have a penis, most of the ejaculations I've been around tend to happen inside me, so I can't really see what's going on. So, there's a definite curiosity motivation there.
After a while, as we continued to talk about sex, he said, "I really wish you were here right now. This conversation has gotten me in a certain frame of mind..."
"Are you in your room?" I asked.
"Yeah."
"Are you on your bed?"
"Yeah."
"Are you hard?"
"Yeah."
"Mmm..." Since we had recently been talking about my interest in him masturbating, I mentioned there was a way to try it out a bit, maybe get him comfortable with the idea.
"Hmm..." he said. "I've never done that before."
"Neither have I." I was nervous about it. I wasn't sure what to say, or what to do. All I knew is that it seemed like the phone call was headed in that direction, and who am I to say "no" to a little experimentation?
"Am I going to be on my own here?" Mr. Curls asked. "Because, I think it'd be more fun if you were touching yourself too."
"I already am."
"Good."
It was an interesting experience to fly solo without exactly being solo. I got to practice being descriptive and using my imagination. Having his voice in my ear while I masturbated was pretty hot. I remained just a bit self conscious throughout, but in the good way that added a little bit of a thrill to it. There's something about phone sex that's just a little taboo to me, I'm not sure why, so it made me feel a little naughty.
This morning, I can't hardly even look at my phone without blushing.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Summer With the Boys
Last Tuesday Mr. Curls' first ex called. The original plan was that Mr. Curls would take the boys Friday for them to spend the summer with him (save for alternating weekends when they'd be back with their mom). Instead, she asked him if he'd like to get them early, like, in an hour and a half.
Mr. Curls agreed, did a mad dash to get ready, and his ex brought the boys up early. It was a bit of a wrinkle in his plans, and since he'd just gotten a water bed that hadn't been... tried out yet, it was a bit of a wrinkle in mine. However, Mr. Curls doesn't get to spend as much time with the boys as he'd like to, and I like them, too, so no complaints.
This past week I've been playing games with the boys and I even found a set of poker chips on clearance for them, they're big fans of Texas Hold 'em. Also, we managed to try out the water bed after all by practicing covert, post-boys-asleep, shenanigans. Dunno how much I like the water bed for certain things, though the novelty is certainly fun.
Mr. Curls agreed, did a mad dash to get ready, and his ex brought the boys up early. It was a bit of a wrinkle in his plans, and since he'd just gotten a water bed that hadn't been... tried out yet, it was a bit of a wrinkle in mine. However, Mr. Curls doesn't get to spend as much time with the boys as he'd like to, and I like them, too, so no complaints.
This past week I've been playing games with the boys and I even found a set of poker chips on clearance for them, they're big fans of Texas Hold 'em. Also, we managed to try out the water bed after all by practicing covert, post-boys-asleep, shenanigans. Dunno how much I like the water bed for certain things, though the novelty is certainly fun.
Monday, May 31, 2010
The Big L
The other night, Mr. Curls and I were lying in bed all cuddled up and snug. I had my head on his shoulder and I was thinking it'd be so easy to say it. It's just words. They don't need to be hard.
"You're quiet," Mr. Curls said.
"So are you."
"Yeah... I was thinking about a conversation we had a while back. One where we went in circles for a little while..."
"Mmm... that one," I said, knowing exactly what he was talking about. "I was thinking about that too." I winked at him. "Jinx."
He gave me a kiss. "What were you thinking?"
"I was thinking about saying the words out loud. I was wondering what they'd sound like."
There was a pause where neither of us said anything, both of us trying to be brave enough to go for it. I took a breath and reached up to cover his eyes. Mr. Curls laughed, "Shouldn't you be covering your own eyes, you know, execution style?"
"Hush," I said, burying my face in his chest. I was trying to get the courage to say the words out loud, and maybe I had enough to say them, but I didn't think I was brave enough to say them and look him in the eye at the same time. I took another deep breath and whispered, "I love you."
Mr. Curls hugged me tight. "I love you," he said. I hugged him back, as tight as I could manage, not wanting to let go. Leap of faith, my friends. Leap of faith.
"You're quiet," Mr. Curls said.
"So are you."
"Yeah... I was thinking about a conversation we had a while back. One where we went in circles for a little while..."
"Mmm... that one," I said, knowing exactly what he was talking about. "I was thinking about that too." I winked at him. "Jinx."
He gave me a kiss. "What were you thinking?"
"I was thinking about saying the words out loud. I was wondering what they'd sound like."
There was a pause where neither of us said anything, both of us trying to be brave enough to go for it. I took a breath and reached up to cover his eyes. Mr. Curls laughed, "Shouldn't you be covering your own eyes, you know, execution style?"
"Hush," I said, burying my face in his chest. I was trying to get the courage to say the words out loud, and maybe I had enough to say them, but I didn't think I was brave enough to say them and look him in the eye at the same time. I took another deep breath and whispered, "I love you."
Mr. Curls hugged me tight. "I love you," he said. I hugged him back, as tight as I could manage, not wanting to let go. Leap of faith, my friends. Leap of faith.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Mr. Curls' Dad
This past week Mr. Curls' grandfather passed away. His grandfather's health had been in decline for a while and the death didn't come as a great surprise. However, even expected deaths are difficult. The one lighter side of it is that Mr. Curls' father came to town for the memorial service and to help take care of what needed taking care of.
I didn't go to the memorial, but I did meet Mr. Curls' dad the next day. We went to a diner to get some space from the rest of the family and ate pie while we chatted. It was funny to me to see the similarity in some of their mannerisms and ways of speaking. I definitely see the resemblance ;) I enjoyed it and knew I was okay in Mr. Dad's book when he told me, "It was wonderful to meet you. You are the best thing that's happened to my son in a very long time."
I didn't go to the memorial, but I did meet Mr. Curls' dad the next day. We went to a diner to get some space from the rest of the family and ate pie while we chatted. It was funny to me to see the similarity in some of their mannerisms and ways of speaking. I definitely see the resemblance ;) I enjoyed it and knew I was okay in Mr. Dad's book when he told me, "It was wonderful to meet you. You are the best thing that's happened to my son in a very long time."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)