Colposcopy Results

Got a call from the doctor's office today. My colposcopy results came back okay, though they're going to have me come in again in six months. It's a relief, for sure.

Job Interview, Again

Yesterday, I got a phone call from the school where I used to teach. Over the summer I applied for a part time job there as the coordinator of the online writing center. After nearly three months, they called me to set up an interview. Too bad for them that I already have a new job.

I felt just the slightest twinge at the missed opportunity, then I reminded myself that the job was only part time and would have required me to continue adjuncting which would mean a huge workload (the coordinator job, plus three classes to plan, prepare for, and grade papers from) and lots of BS all so I could make about $1,000 a year more than what I'm making at my new job. The writing center job would have made me eligible for benefits, but my new job has better benefits, and when I move I'll have lower living expenses. In short, the new job's still a better financial deal overall. Also, among other things, this job is a change of scenery, both in terms of work and location and I was craving that.

Anyhow, the interview request was good for my ego. Having to turn them down because someone else already snatched me up didn't hurt either.

Long Distance

My job continues, as do the long-ass days that go with it. The good news on that front is that I've pretty much got a place lined up that I think I'll like. It's itty-bitty, but it has a yard and is in the process of being refurbished. The only problem with the new floors, new plumbing, etc. is that it's not quite done yet. So, it'll be a nice little place, but I have to wait a couple more weeks before I can move in, which means the long-ass days continue.

I'm nearing the end of the part where I take all the company trainings as a new staff member/auditor. I've written up a lot of notes and I've started making plans about where I'll start and what I'll do in order to improve the training program. It's cool because I feel like I know what I'm doing and I feel like I can really make things better.

In the mean time, Mr. Curls went off to his new job on Monday. This is the job that's about four hours away from where I'll be living as soon as the itty-bitty house is done. But, on the whole I'm more excited about him having a job than I am disappointed about him going away to have it. I'd rather have a boyfriend far away and employed than one that's ten minutes away with no job, no place to live, and no vehicle to get around in. The long distance thing isn't ideal long term, but it means a longer term than our relationship would have had otherwise as it's September now and we're still together vs. my earlier decision that if nothing had changed by the end of August, I was going to be finished with this relationship.

The timing works out okay, though. I'm so busy with the new job that it provides great distraction from worrying about the future of my relationship with Mr. Curls. What will be will be, and until then, I've got stuff to do.

Colposcopy

Today was the day. I got to the doctor's office, was taken to a room and told to strip down. The doctor who did the procedure was a new doctor who I'd never seen before. He was also a he. So far, all the medical professionals I've ever had look at the lady parts have been women. Nothing makes an uncomfortable vagina procedure better than having it done by a stranger. But, he was nice and professional and the whole thing was done quickly.

At the end, he said, "It'll be a few weeks before we get the lab results back. From what I can tell just by looking, I think we're looking at CIN1 or CIN2 cells."

"What does that mean?"

"CIN1 means we won't do anything yet. A lot of times the body will take of those on its own. CIN2 means you'll come back and I'll do a procedure to remove the abnormal tissue. If it was CIN4, that'd mean cancer."

Again with the waiting. But, at least it's not immediately scary.

First Week at the New Job

Waking up at 5:30 a.m. is rough when you're used to waking up at 8:30 a.m. Driving almost an hour and a half to work and then almost an hour and a half to get home is also rough.

I've been pretty wore out this past week, but it's been a good week. The people have been nice and very welcoming. I think I'm going to like the job, and I may have a new place to live lined up.

It feels like this is what I've been working up to the past few years. It feels good to finally have a grown up job.

Just when I thought this summer couldn't be any more of an emotional roller coaster, I got a call from my doctor. I missed the call last night and got short, and incredibly vague, message, "I need to speak with you about your test, please call me back."

My mind immediately went to worst case scenario mode and I had a hard time sleeping last night because of being stressed out.

This morning, I called the doctor's office. After a little bit of phone tag, I finally spoke with her around noon.

"Your pap smear showed abnormal results, so we're going to do a colposcopy." She explained what that was, and told me her nurse would give me a call to schedule the procedure. It was a pretty short conversation, but left me shaken up. The first thing I thought of was the history of cancer in my family. My dad's dad died from colon cancer. My mom's mom died from breast cancer. Neither was cervical cancer, but...

Now I'm waiting for the nurse to call so I can wait for the procedure then wait for the results after that. This sucks.

Mr. Curls was quick to say, "They're just checking. It doesn't automatically mean something's wrong. Until they say otherwise, don't worry." I really appreciate his support, because this is freaking me out. The worst part, as always, is the waiting.

Denied

Mr. Curls decided to go back to college about one month before the beginning of classes. That meant he had a lot to do in a very short time. He filled out his FAFSA online, completed his application, got a copy of his high school diploma... and didn't check the minimum requirements for the one school he applied to.

Minimum requirement = 2.0 high school GPA

Mr. Curls never planned on going to college, so he spent a lot of time his junior and senior years focusing on work and goofing off. So, his high school GPA = 1.9

Classes start on Monday and Mr. Curls' application was declined. Today he contacted the community college (which has lower minimums) and was told it's just too late.

Oh, for fuck's sake. Now it's going to be spring before he can start taking classes. In this case, the reasons are 100% his fault, no bad luck to blame. First, his crappy GPA from when he screwed around in high school. Second, he didn't pay close enough attention to the application criteria, i.e. the part that says "You must be *this* smart to be a student," nor, if he saw that, did he take proactive steps like talking to someone in admissions about a possible exemption. Third, he applied to only one school. Fourth, he waited this long to decide that a college degree was something he needed.

Too little, too late, and now it's months more before he can get started. Things are not looking good for the continuation of our relationship. Though he was offered a job 3 hours away, they're still processing his paperwork and he doesn't actually have the job yet. The good news is that he found some part time work for the mean time, but it's not enough to be a solution.

His decision to go back to school was encouraging, as is the job offer. But, until he's actually taking (and passing) classes, until he's actually doing the job he's been offered... In light of recent positive developments, I'm willing to give this relationship a little more time, but the sand is running out of the hourglass.