F*ing Dog

This morning started at 6:00. I put the dog outside and staggered back to my bedroom to pick out what to wear for the day. Then I heard my dog barking like a maniac. What the hell?

I went to investigate and opened the back door to find
1. my dog standing by the fence, barking like a maniac
2. the neighborhood skunk just on the other side of the fence, looking pissed
3. a pungent aroma in the air.

This morning, by 6:02, while I was still half-asleep, I got wrestle my dog into the bathtub and frantically scrub her down. Oh, it was delightful. All the while, my dog was all bewildered and giving me those eyes like, "but mom, why are you being so mean to me?"

Good news: I was able to scrub my dog well enough that she smells almost entirely like shampoo and hardly like skunk at all.

Bad news: All that dog washing in my bathroom has made my bathroom, and, by extension, my house smell like skunk.

Worse news: This has made everything in my house smell like skunk, including the clothes I wore to campus today, which forced me to tell all of my students, "If something smells gross, it's me!"

Worst news: This morning started off cold and rainy. It has progressed to colder and snowy. There's no way I can air any of the skunk stink out.

So now I'm hiding out at home, too afraid to go anywhere 'cause I know I'm saturated with skunk smell. Delightful.