Subtlety is not my thing. I like things (especially in terms of relationships) to be clear. So, when in doubt, I tend to get blunt.
Back in the spring, when I was attempting the online dating thing, there was the one guy I actually met in person. We IMed, met in person, IMed some more, etc. After a while, I was unclear on whether we were doing a dating thing or a friend thing. So, the next time we were on IM, I asked him outright. He said it was a friend thing, and then I knew. Then I didn't have to worry about it any more.
When I tell Amanda this, during a conversation about The Guy, she gives me strange look.
Amanda: You like categories. You like things to be clearly defined.
Me: Absolutely.
Amanda: So, a guy is either one thing or another.
Me: That's the idea.
Amanda: Me, I'm not like that at all. When I was single I had lots of guy friends, and I slept with some of them sometimes. They were just friends I sometimes had sex with.
Me: That's the kind of thing that I wouldn't do well with.
In the context of my uncertaintly about the guy, the fact that it's more complicated than the online dating experiment, and in light of my whole girly experiment, I decided to try Amanda style tactics. This week is my break. I know for a fact that the guy has loads of free time this week. I'm going to be spending some time in the guy's area, so I ask him, "Hey, I'll be up your way, can you recommend any places for me to do some photography?"
The idea is that the guy will say something along the lines of, "Yeah such-&-such is a good spot, want company?"
Instead, the guy just said, "You might try X."
Strike one for subtlety.
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