My mom has decided she wants to be a better person. She's decided that I need to help her. My role in the mother fixer-upper project? She wants me to critique her.
Mom: Tell me what I can change about myself.
Me: ...
Mom: I can't get better if I don't know what I need to change.
Me: I'm really not comfortable with this.
Mom: Why not?
Me: Nobody likes to be criticized.
Mom: But you have to tell me.
That's right, ladies and gentlemen. I tried to get out of it gracefully, but she's not going to let it go. The only way I'm going to make my mom happy is if I make a list of personality traits she has that I don't like (let's start that list with being pushy, shall we?).
I'm all about striving to be a better person, I really am, but I'm the daughter, not the therapist. Getting involved here makes me way uncomfortable. The worst part is, I know I have to do something - something to make it clear that I love her, but I'm not getting involved in this particular project - because she is not going to let it go.
3 comments:
Oy! Well, I think you could say something to her along the lines of what you've written here, "I love you but getting involved with this project makes me very uncomfortable. Maybe we could take a class together or go to a museum [insert other edifying activity]"
If she keeps insisting that you need to help her, perhaps say that you are trying to learn to be less judgmental and she could help you by not requiring that you judge her. Ha ha!
Good luck!
My mom tried the same last year. I gave up just to show it was a bad idea and wouldn't you know it? I was right.
Yeah, Jamy, Kendall. I'm working on an alternate plan. One that doesn't include a nit-pick list.
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