We all have our hang ups and things that make us nervous. For me, the prospect of getting in between two undergrad boys who are about to punch each other is no big deal. I can be calm in situations like that. But, give me a guy who wants to take me to dinner and I am a seething mass of anxiety.
There isn't much that keeps me up a night, but the idea of a real life guy who wants to date me gives me a nervous break down. With a guy like Army Guy, I laid awake worrying about whether or not I should be impulsive and whether or not he was going to call again. With Comic Book Guy and Radio Guy I laid awake worrying about whether or not I was interested in them, and whether or not I was being fair when I decided I didn't. Then I worried how to break it off.
Now I have Mr. Curls to worry about. He called tonight to ask me if I was free this weekend. Good, right? Tonight I went to bed and stared at the ceiling for half an hour stressing out. Talk about classic neurosis.
I like him, which is good. He likes me, which is also good. Except, he seems to really like me, which freaks me out. Thanks, insecurity, for that one. Insecurity and cynicism say to me that any guy who likes me this much this fast must have something wrong with him. The rational part of me knows that's a terrible thing to think. The rational part of me says, "Duh, having a guy you like think you're great is a good thing."
But, it's not the rational part that makes it hard to sleep.
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