The night after the conversation that got my emotions all in a whirl, I was at Mr. Curls' place, curled up on the couch with him. I'd been quiet, trying to decide what to say about what had been going on in my head and wanting to have some time just to enjoy listening to his heartbeat and having his arms around me.
"You seem tired," he said.
"Not tired. Thoughtful."
He tipped my head up a little to look me in the eyes. "What's up?"
"Something happened when we were talking last night. I had a really unexpected reaction to part of what we were talking about."
"Oh?" I started trying to explain, and when I paused to figure out the next thing to say, he helped me fill in. "Would this have to do with what you told me a while back?" We'd only talked about my foster brother once, but Mr. Curls is sharp, he'd connected the dots. "Last night, when you seemed uncomfortable, I thought that might be it. That's why I said we didn't have to talk about it." He hugged me, tight.
Then, we talked. Mostly, I talked and he listened. He didn't say much. There wasn't much he could say about something like that. He held me tight. He stroked my hair. He asked me if I'd ever talked to a professional about it. The important part was that even though he was absolutely dog tired from a couple of sixteen hour work days in a row, he stayed up, listening to me and being there for me without ever once looking at the clock.
2 comments:
I read the last two posts together, and my heart goes out to you. I admire your strength in writing about such a personal topic, as you are processing it in real life.
It's a great sign in terms of how strong your relationship is that Mr. Curls realized the connection and that you felt comfortable in talking to him about it. So many guys just want a quick fix, and it sounds like he understands that won't happen here.
I have a close family member who was abused as a child. The memories didn't come back to her until she was in her 40s. Counseling really helped her process everything, deal with her triggers and approach her current relationships in a new and healthier way. If you haven't talked to someone yet or recently, you might find that beneficial.
You are entitled to freak-out, and it doesn't need to (or won't) make sense. As a virtual friend who cares about you, I'm glad that you can lean on Mr. Curls and he can do the same with you. We all deserve that.
xoxo
Thanks. At this point, I feel like I've pretty much processed what happened the other night and I think I have a handle on what spooked me. Being able to talk with Mr. Curls about it really helped. One of the nice things about him having a complicated past is that he understands that there is no magic wand that instantly fixes this sort of thing. He's a patient guy.
I'm glad to hear your family member has been able to process what happened to her and move on from it. Cheers to her.
Post a Comment