I'm a big fan of City Girl's blog, and I'm totally flattered that she's got a post up that responds to a comment I left the other day. Go read the post, it's a good one.
In short, the conversation is about the definition of sex. Most people can agree that if you give someone a kiss, that doesn't count as sex. Most people can agree that if there is a penis in a vagina and an ejaculation, that's sex.
It's the degrees in between that get fuzzy. For City Girl, the difference between fooling around and sex is penetration: "I define sex in a Clinton-esque fashion. (And, by Clinton, I mean Bill, not Hillary.) Did a guy penetrate me vaginally or anally with his cock? If so, then we had sex, and I’m carving another notch in my bedpost. If not, then I did not have sexual relations with that man."
At the end of the post, she asks her readers what their definition of sex is. For me, sex is based on the sex organs. My definition of sex includes things like hand jobs and oral sex.
On the logistics, City Girl and I differ. The interesting part, though is that, in a way, we agree more than we disagree. Even though we draw the line differently, we draw it for the same reason. The border between fooling around and sex for both of us is based on emotion. She said, "I can disconnect my emotions from hands and oral, but I can’t disconnect from traditional or anal sex." My emotions get tied in a lot sooner than hers is all.
3 comments:
I only count it as sex if it's good.
If it's not...it never happened.
I love that your comment inspired me to write a post, and that post inspired you to write this post! It's like a blogging full circle!
You called it about the fact that we might disagree about what sex is, but we agree on the fact that what counts is the emotions we feel. xoxo
Just Me - that's cool. I see your point. Though, if I were going to nit-pick I'd maybe ask about cases of non-consensual sex - i.e. how does rape count? But, I know that's not how you mean it. Cheers.
City Girl - yeah, it's all very meta, isn't it? ;) The most important part of understanding isn't so much the answers as the way you get to them.
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