Saying It, Not Saying It, and Saying It Without Words

Sunday night, after the boys had gone home and Mr. Curls and I did a bit of physical therapy, he was in a thoughtful mood.

"What's on your mind?" I asked.

"I've been thinking a lot this past week about a conversation we had a while back."

Sometimes, it's almost eerie the way he and I can practically read each other's minds. Given the mood we were in, the way the day had gone, and what he said, I immediately put the pieces together and knew that he meant the conversation where we'd been talking about a four-letter word.

"There have been times lately," he said, "where there'll be a moment and I'm just a breath away from saying it." He paused, waiting for me to respond.

"I've been thinking about it, too. You know, trying it out in my head, and there's been a time or two where it's been on the tip of my tongue."

He nodded. "It's strange, because in those moments, it's like we have the thought and we both know it and even though we don't say it, it's almost like we did." He paused again, this time figuring out how to say the next part. "Between the two of us, and the experiences we've had, it's harder for us to say it than it is for other people. But, I hope that you can see it, in what I do, in the way I look at you."

It was a scary moment. I thought to myself, I guess maybe this is real. It's not just dating. This is a guy who cares about me all the way. So, I said, "I don't know if I'm ready to say it yet, but that doesn't mean I don't mean it. The word isn't ready, but the feeling is there."

Sunday night is the night that we told each other "I love you" for the first time, even though neither of us said those three words. The words are important, and it'll be important for us to actually say them. But, even without the words themselves, we got the idea across.