The work study that Amanda and I split is going to be taken over by the new guy for summer (Amanda's moving, and I'll be done with my thesis, so neither of us will be able to continue doing the work study). He's come in the office a couple times for a bit of training, and Amanda's been having a bit of a hard time with him. It's not for any reason you're probably thinking, rather it's because New Guy is very, very much like me: quiet. He's not super outgoing, though he's plenty personable, and it's hard on Amanda. Amanda's perspective on socialization is strongly focused on conversation - people talk to you because they like you, and if they don't talk, they don't like you.
Recently, Amanda told me that for the first month or so that we worked together, she thought I disliked her.
Amanda: I would come in the office and talk and talk and you'd just nod. Then when I stopped, you'd say, "And this is what we need to do today." It was awful.
For me, I just thought she wanted someone to listen. So, I listened. I was being nice. But, she wanted me to talk too. I know this now, but didn't realize it then, so while I was trying to be nice, she thought I hated her. Funny ol' world, isn't it?
Enter New Guy.
Amanda: I don't think he likes me at all. *sigh*
Me: That's not true. He's just a quiet dude. Just think of him as the male version of me.
Amanda: But I want him to be like you are with me now. Not like you were when we first met.
Of course, me and New Guy get along just fine. I understand if he's not all that chatty. This irritates Amanda to no end.
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