Sleeping Together, In the Unconscious Sense

For a while now, Mr. Curls and I have been circling the idea of a sleep over. Basically, he gets comfortable and drifts off, then I wake him up and send him home. One of the first nights this happened, he groggily said, "I'm tempted just to go set your alarm and climb back in bed."

"Not tonight," I said. "I'm not ready for that."

"Yeah? Why is that?"

"Two reasons. One, there are people who can fall asleep anywhere and I'm not one of them. I can have a hard time falling asleep, and it's easiest for me when everything is just so. Having you in bed with me would be something to adjust to." He nodded. "Two, being asleep means being totally helpless."

He got a look of concern then. "Are you worried I'll do something?" I had joked a few nights ago about pranking him if he fell asleep on my couch again. "I swear, I'd never do something to you when you're sleeping."

I laughed. "No, it's not that. It's me being worried that I'll do something embarrassing while I'm asleep. I don't even know whether or not I snore, for instance." The third part, which I'd mentioned in another sleeping conversation, had to do with the fact that being unconscious around someone is just about as intimate as you can get. For me, even more than sex, sleeping is about trust. At least during sex, there's a certain level of control/interactivity. Sleep is giving up control absolutely. Scary.

"Oh." He shrugged. "Well, since you fell asleep just a little the other night at my place, I already know you don't snore."

"Let me ask you this, then. I've said why it makes me nervous, but why do you like the idea so much?"

"Two things." He held up a finger. "One, I just think it's nice. Comfortable." He held up the other and grinned. "Two, I think I'd get more sleep."

Fast forward to Friday night. Mr. Curls came over to watch a movie, which we never quite got around to, on account of getting sidetracked. At a little past midnight, there we were, cuddled up in my bed, and he started to drift off. I laid there, debating what I wanted to do. Then I got up, turned off the light, got back in bed, and went to sleep.

I won't say it was the best night's sleep I've ever had. Having Mr. Curls in the bed screwed up my sleeping mojo and I woke a few times through the night and readjusted myself before I could fall asleep again. I will say I survived the experience. And, I will say that it was nice to wake up next to him in the early morning light and snuggle first thing.

There goes another milestone.