Taking It Slow, Taking the Plunge

This post is a kind of follow up to my last one. Over the past couple of days, I've had a couple of conversations with Mr. Curls about his social circle and his kids. I brought up my interest in getting to know his circle better, and he pointed out that, right now, the people who are close to him are largely far away. The most important people to him are his "sister" who's in town, his "brother" who's a couple hours away, his kids, who live an hour and a half away, and his parents, who're in Florida. He gets along well with his coworkers, but they don't especially hang out a lot.

In short, the fact that he's been meshing with my circle more than I've been meeting his is primarily a geography thing. Since I've mentioned an interest in getting more involved with his friends, he kind of made a mental note and said one of his coworkers had made a comment about how he should have Mr. Curls and me over for a BBQ. So, maybe I'm doing a BBQ in the near future.

Then, there are the kids. This weekend is Mr. Curls' weekend with his boys. We were together Friday afternoon right before he left to pick them up. He looked at the clock, which said it was time to go, and sighed. "It's bittersweet," he said. "On one hand, the good part is spending time with the boys. On the the other hand, it means leaving you."

"Since you bring it up," I said. "I had a thought about that." I told him that, while I understood his reservations about me meeting the kids, I didn't want to wait two more months.

On my last post, City Girl commented that it'd be a good idea to warm up to meeting the kids, "Would there be a way for him to incorporate you more into his world without meeting his kids? Baby steps (pun intended)." Then there's the advice of a friend of mine who's currently involved with a divorced dad, "Put off meeting the kids for as long as humanly possible. Don't get me wrong, I like my boyfriend's daughter, but... wait as long as you can."

It's sound advice on both fronts. Kids are big, why rush it? Take it slow, etc. However, for me, I'm looking at it kind of the other way around. I've already taken the plunge with Mr. Curls. The other milestones we've hit, the way I feel about him... it all adds up to me being committed to this relationship. It's gone past the point of wondering if I'll meet his kids and to the question of when. And, given my personality, a lot of times in these types of situations, I'd just as soon do it quicker than wait. My decision of when to have sex with Mr. Curls was based on the same kind of thinking. It's going to happen. It's right for it to happen. Let's just do it now.

Also, I like kids. I genuinely enjoy them. Just because I'm not chomping at the bit to push one of my own out through my lady bits doesn't mean I don't like them. I think it'd be fun for the four of us to all do things together. I'm having visions of mini golf and goofing around at the park, etc. I always liked babysitting, and this would kind of be like that - spend some time with the kids, then send them home. Perfect.

Put it all together, when I'd think of the idea of waiting, I'd ask, "What's the point?" I've accepted the idea that they're part of the Mr. Curls package deal, so let's get on with it. I know, I know, it seems over simplified. I swear I've thought about the complications as best I can without having gone through the experience before. I know it's not so easy. I just know that if I'm going to be dealing with it sooner or later, I'd just as soon do it sooner. No use putting it off.

So, I brought up the idea of me meeting the kids sooner than May. More like in two weeks when he has the boys again, or the two weeks after that. I told him he didn't have to decide right away, and he's thinking it over. Yesterday, on the phone, he said he'd talked to the boys about it. One of them asked, "But what if she's like the last one?"

"I really don't think she is," he said. I guess that satisfied them because when they were walking past the glow golf thing (indoor mini golf with black lights) at the mall later on, one of the boys said that's what we should do when they meet me. I take it as a good sign that me and the boys are already thinking alike.

I'm going to see Mr. Curls tonight after the boys have been picked up. I'm thinking that by tonight he may have decided on when would be a good time for me to meet them. It's intimidating, but in for a penny, in for a pound, right?