I was talking to M. and we were on the topic of finding a guy. It's a pretty common topic between us these days ;)
During the conversation, the idea of "project" guys came up. You know, when a girl finds a guy and thinks, "I don't really like him yet, but I can fix him." So, she starts dating a guy knowing she's only going to really like him when X is different, like once he stops smoking, or he gets a new job, or... whatever.
Me: I just don't get that. Me, I want to find a guy I like for who he is.
M. laughed at me and said I was naive. She says no guy is Mr. Right until you've done a bit of remodeling. There's no such thing as finding a guy you like as-is, the best you can hope for is finding one who just needs a new coat of paint versus one who needs a new roof.
Seems to me, that's still a problem. Yes, I appreciate that everybody's got their own unique flaws, and I'm not looking for Mr. Perfect. But, there's a difference between:
I like him, even though he's not perfect
and
If only he were more X, I'd like him
Maybe I'm over-simplifying, but if your guy's not good enough as-is, don't you owe it to yourself to find one who is? On the flip side, if you can't ever look at a guy without seeing what needs to be changed, are you really giving guys a chance? Either way, the home-improvement model of mate selection doesn't appeal to me.
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