My Curly-Haired Valentine, or Mr. Curls Gets Laid

Mr. Curls and I spent the afternoon and most of the night together today. I cooked us dinner, we rented a movie, and we talked more about his relationship history. I was nervous bringing it up, but needed to understand more about it. He was uncomfortable talking about it, but he puts a high premium on honesty and being straight with me, so he told me about wife #1 and wife #2, with more info on #2 since that story's more recent. He regrets the whole wife #2 thing, but until someone invents a time machine, there's not much he can do to change it.

I appreciated that he was straight with me, especially since it's a subject he'd rather not talk about. But, I learned the most important thing I wanted to learn, that the rebound marriage episode was a mistake and not a pattern.

It's weird that, given his past, we've had to be so up front so quickly. We've talked about issues that most couples don't talk about this early, but I wouldn't say it's a bad thing. Just a matter of having less being eased into things and more being chucked in the deep end. But, I'm still feeling okay with the complications. I'm cautious, but I don't hear alarms going off in the back of my mind.

So, it was with all that in mind (and the fact that my period's decided to hold off just a bit longer), that I decided tonight would be a good night to sleep with him. I was nervous, and so was he, and I'm mostly just glad that the first time is behind us now. That sounds terrible, doesn't it? But, couples get better at sex after they've had a chance to know what the other person likes. Our 2nd time will be better, and so on.

I'm glad we had sex tonight. It made me more relaxed with him, because first-time sex was the biggest scary thing for me, and now we've had it. Scary thing over. We stayed in bed a good long while after, cuddling and talking and I didn't freak out. Okay, maybe a very, very small voice whispered in my head to run (or, rather, kick him out), but it was more a reaction to me internalizing this whole girlfriend idea - him saying the word was one thing, but having sex is what really hit it home.

On a side note, he gave me a present today. When he said he wanted to give me something, I was a little worried that it'd be something too big, something expensive or whatnot. Turns out, the present was perfect - a necklace that's beautiful but inexpensive and I love it to death. I wore it all day today and when I hung it up after he left, it made me smile. I've got boyfriend jewelry :)

I've got a boyfriend.

I've got a boyfriend with a complicated past, but one who's warm and sweet and respectful and all kinds of other things that make me believe he's worth the complications. I'm in it now. I've officially crossed over the line into believing that this is an genuine relationship. The thought makes me a bit light headed, but in a good way.