Gotta Give the Guy Some Credit

The thing I liked most about my ex when we were together was that I knew how it went. He liked me, I liked him, and we only wanted to be with each other. Until, of course, it all imploded at the end. These days, I'm skittish about getting that emotionally close to someone again. Maybe, someday... Today, I'm guarded. So, everything that I see in Army Guy is tinged with "this won't last" in my head, and I think in some ways I'm reading more than is there because of the voice in my head.

Thus, he does something that's typical guy dumbness and I read it as something sinister. Maybe it is, but maybe it isn't. I filled Amanda in on Friday night and she made a good point about it may simply be that he doesn't pay the closest attention to time. Not that it's okay, but he's got to know I don't like it before it means something.

On this blog, I've given into my cynicism and when I've written about AG I've generally glossed over or left out the flattering parts about him. It's not fair, I know, but it's self-defense. It's the same reason I call him Army Guy with my friends vs. using his name - it's all about keeping a distance. Over the past few days, I've talked to some friends, Amanda, and even my parents about him and come to the realization that it might be time to call him by name. (Though he'll remain Army Guy here). It makes a difference, just that small thing.

Overall, Army Guy is definitely a dumb boy when it comes to the dating stuff, but there's also a side of him that's rather more sweet and genuine. It's like he's trying to find his own balance with me. I've already mentioned some of the jackassery, but he deserves some credit for the good stuff too:

• He listens when I talk and is pretty good about recalling things from previous conversations - i.e. shows he's actually paying attention.
• He's affectionate and not just horny - there's hand holding going on when we're out.
• Aside from the timing issue, he's pretty considerate of me - when we made plans for Wednesday and I mentioned having a lot going on, he agreed to come to my town instead of me going to his 'cause it'd be more convenient. And, he doesn't just dictate what we're going to do when we go out, he asks what I want to do.
• He smiles real big when he sees me.
• He casually slips "we" into our conversations, like, "We should go see a rodeo."
• The other night, he was talking about how we should come up with a better story to tell people how we met than online. So, he's planning to tell people we've met. His first idea was that we met while we were in the circus, and I have to admit, the dorkiness of that idea is quite charming to me.
• He holds doors for me and does the gentleman thing, which isn't a big deal, but it shows a little bit of effort and I like that.
• On a lot of little things, we tend to think alike - which may be the most surprising part of it all, given that he describes himself as staunchly conservative and I lean more towards liberal. But, for instance, we got on the topic of stoners we'd known (I can't remember how, exactly, but we got there). AG isn't a stoner, anything but, yet he thinks pot should be legalized. Unexpected, coming from someone with his political background, and it makes me think he might not be as conservative as he thinks he is.
• He occasionally mentions exes, but not just to go on and on about them - it's always in the context of something else he's talking about - and he doesn't slam them. It's not "that bitch" but simply "this girl I was dating." Good sign.
  

There are some other things I could add, but I think that's enough to get the general picture. My dog also likes him, which is strange 'cause she tends to hate anything that's male and in my house (out in the world, she doesn't care, but on her turf... boy howdy). I think it's really just because AG is on the short side, but it's still a vote in his favor.

We're going to do dinner and a movie tomorrow and I told him to call me if he's running late. If he shows up on time, we're good. If he calls to say he's running late, then we're also good, because he's still acknowledging that I'm waiting on him. If he just arrives late, then we're not good.

Depending on how that goes, it may be time to start testing the waters in regard to dating history/sexual history. He's made passing references, but I've not. It may be time to lay some cards on the table.

So, to borrow from Jamy, I'm coming to terms that my boyfriend advisory level leans toward Elevated.