Trip

I just spent a couple of days about 300 miles from home visiting my friend Camii. We've known each other for about nine years and she's the one person in the world who understands me best. In some ways, she's kind of like my twin. Our personalities and perspectives are very similar and we were even born within a few days of each other. Sometimes I kind of think of her as a mirror for me. Looking into that mirror helped me look at the situation with Army Guy a bit differently.

During the drive to Camii, I called Amanda and told her I was feeling uneasy - Army Guy seems to want me to be his girlfriend (not just a girl to bang). The uneasiness comes from residual gunk from breaking up with the ex - relationships with emotions and sex involved are dangerous, and why would I want to go there again? Her input was pretty simple: get over the baggage and give it a whirl. She said I couldn't be anxious/afraid of it without also being excited about it, so suck it up and be a big girl.

Then, once I arrived at my destination, I got to spend time with Camii. Camii, like me, is yin to Amanda's yang, and the shift was nice. Also nice, seeing Camii with her boyfriend. I met the boyfriend about two years ago and I like him. He's a decent guy who treats my friend well and they're due to get married about this time next year. Seeing them together made me think, "Oh yeah, someone like me really can find who they're looking for."

So, maybe Army Guy isn't who I'm looking for, or maybe he is. Either way, I'm only going to find out by trying on the girlfriend shoes.