Love Stories

I like hearing the stories about how my friends met their spouses. The stories make me optimistic about eventually meeting someone who's right for me. They make me optimistic that sometimes, when it's supposed to work out, it does.

My mom:
"The first time your dad and I dated, I broke up with him. He just wasn't ready. I dated other people. He dated other people. Then, after a while, we dated each other again. He was ready that time."

There's a bartender I worked with:
"I dated a lot of women before I met my wife." He'd pause to look at me, making sure I understood, and reiterate, "A lot of women. It took me a long time to find the right one."

A friend:
"I met my husband when I was forty, and I know I wasn't ready to meet him until then. I was always looking for the wrong guy when I was younger and wouldn't have looked at him twice. Now we've been married for ten years, and he makes me happier than I've ever been."

Another friend:
"On our first date, my husband spilled iced tea all over me."

Amanda:
"The first time I met my husband, I was so mean to him."

Then, during my road trip the past couple of days, I got to hear more about my friend Constance's story. I've heard it before, but there were more details as we rode in the car for a few hours to get to our destination. The Cliff's Notes version:

She started working for her now-hubby when she was 22 and he was 38. He was interested in her right off, but he was her boss, much older, short, and not the hottest of guys. She blew him off in favor of a younger guy who was in a bluegrass band. The now-hubby pretty much took it in stride and waited. He also continued to help her out where he could and look out for her. Then, one day at an out-of-town concert, the musician told Constance he'd just met this hot gal and he really wanted to have sex with her, so they should all have a threesome. Constance's reaction was, "Are you shitting me?" She started dating her now-husband within the week. This was eighteen years ago.

It's a good story with respect to the arbitrary/superficial criteria people sometimes have. On paper, Constance's husband is absolutely not what she thought she wanted. But, at the end of the day, he's the guy who ended up being perfect for her. The musician treated her like dirt, and the older guy treated her like a queen. The threesome incident was a wake-up call that made her re-evaluate her priorities.

During the story, one of her comments was, "He was not what I was looking for. He was anything but. But, the first time I kissed him, the fireworks went off. My brain resisted, but my whole body knew. Before that, whenever I would think about my dream guy, he didn't have a face. After that, whenever I thought about my dream guy, he had my husband's face."